


even in my worst lies, you saw the truth in me

by starfired



Category: Grimm (TV)
Genre: F/M, I don’t know what this is, nick has a lot of feelings that he doesn’t know how to deal with, post s5e18 opening scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-14
Updated: 2020-06-14
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:00:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,003
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24724936
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starfired/pseuds/starfired
Summary: (and i woke up just in time, now i wake up by your side. my one and only, my lifeline)post s5e18 opening scene one shot of sorts about nick's feelings on adalind
Relationships: Nick Burkhardt/Adalind Schade
Comments: 6
Kudos: 58





	even in my worst lies, you saw the truth in me

He had missed her.

He realized this as they laid in bed, Adalind in his arms for the first time in two weeks.

He had missed her.

She had said that this wasn’t the easiest relationship and he supposed that was true. It wasn’t easy and it was a relationship.

There hadn’t been a first date, there hadn’t been any dates, just the quiet dinners at home when his job or Grimm duties didn’t keep him out at all hours of the night. They would cook together, eat together and discuss their separate days. He would talk about his cases and she would tell him about all the things she and Kelly had done that day. It was nice, it was normal. And then it had ended.

He had missed her.

He had been avoiding the loft, avoiding her and avoiding Kelly. It had hurt, in a way he wasn’t expecting. He hated missing time with his son, he already missed so much because of the life he led and missing time with Kelly on purpose felt wrong. Avoiding Adalind felt wrong. Nick told himself he was doing it to give himself time, give her time. Just let her come to him with her secret, but the days kept passing by and she still didn’t say anything. Though it would be difficult for her to say anything when he didn’t come home until long after she was asleep.

If his friends had caught on to what he was doing they didn’t say anything. Nick almost wished they would, that someone would tell him to talk to Adalind, tell him to stop avoiding his son. But they all kept quiet, and he loved and hated them for it.

As Adalind lay next to him, Nick allowed his thoughts to drift back to after he had come home from Germany. She had brought it up and he had said they would deal with it when it happened, but he knew now that wasn’t enough. She needed more reassurance than what he had given.

But she hadn’t brought it up again and he didn’t think about it, to caught up in trying to figure out what the stick was, and what was happening between him and Adalind.

The first few days back had been a little awkward. They were respectful of each other’s personal space, they avoided touching each other at night in bed, and Nick had made a more conscious effort to not stare at Adalind as she moved about the loft. That had been more difficult than he had anticipated. Everything she did drew his eyes to her: the way the sun got caught in her hair, when she would hum to their son as she rocked him to sleep, the sound of her laugh from the bedroom when Kelly did something she found amusing.

 _Do you think you’re in love with her?_ Monroe’s question ran through his mind.

Yes, he was. _God_ he was, and when did that happen? When had Adalind Schade, Hexenbiest and mother of his child, snuck her way into his heart? When had she invaded his mind and filled it with a steady stream of thoughts of her?

And she had invaded his mind, Nick constantly found himself thinking about her. He found himself wondering what she was doing while he was at work, wondering if she knew anything about the Wesen they were tracking for a case. Wondering if she would laugh at the joke one of the officers had told him, and he found himself longing to see her. Coming home to her had gone from being awkward and disconcerting to being his favorite time of the day.

They had gotten into an easy rhythm in such a short amount of time that Nick had found himself wondering how could it be so easy, and why was it?

When they had kissed at the table, he had wanted it. He didn’t realize how badly he had wanted it until it happened, but he had wanted it.

And then he thought about Kelly. Kelly needed both his parents and Nick knew that anything between him Adalind couldn’t happen, if it ended what would happen to their son? Nick wouldn’t put Kelly through that. And maybe he was also protecting himself, because he hadn’t realized how much he wanted Adalind, all of Adalind, until his lips touched hers. And that was dangerous.

So he told her that they should put it on the back burner and she had agreed, Nick was surprised that he had felt a little hurt by that.

And then he told her he was going to Germany.

She acted how he had predicted. She was worried for him, for Monroe, for herself and Rosalee, and for Kelly. She didn’t want him to go, and Nick found himself on the brink of giving in to her. Found himself ready to call Monroe and tell him the whole trip was off. All for her, _Adalind_ , because she was scared and he could see it in her eyes, and he found himself ready and willing to do whatever it took to reassure her, to replace the tears with the happy gleam her eyes had when she laughed.

But he didn’t and Adalind had come around, telling him she knew he had to go and she wasn’t going to stop him.

 _I love you_ , she had said and Nick found his world coming to a standstill. He searched her eyes, looking for some kind of trick, of the deception that her past self was capable of. But all he saw was the tears from earlier, the watery proof of how afraid she was to lose him, and love. So much love, he could drown in it. He almost did.

She kissed him and he kissed her back like it was the most natural thing in the world, and maybe it was.

He followed her lead, taking what she was willing to give and nothing more. And he still wanted everything. He wanted her and here she was, oh so willing. If Nick were a softer man he might have said it was magical, being with her. The real her this time.

Their bodies had moved together like that was the only thing they were made to do. The feel of her mouth on his, her lips on his neck, his shoulder, against his ear. Her hands against his chest, down his back, and clutching at his arms. Her fingers running through his hair, her breathy moans and gasps, her silent chant of _yes, yes, yes_. She filled his senses, she clouded his mind, and she was everything.

The next morning he thought about the night he stole her powers. How had they gotten here from there? How had they made it past everything they had ever done to each other to reach this point? He didn’t know, he wasn’t sure he wanted to know, because they were here now and he wouldn’t change anything about their past if it lead to them this point every time.

When he had come back from Germany their life had become strangely normal, or as normal as it could be for a Grimm.

When they went grocery shopping his hand found its way to the small of her back as they walked through the aisles deciding while they shopped what to eat for dinner for the next week. He held her hand in the car, his thumb absentmindedly drawing little patterns against her hand as he drove them home. One night he felt really bold and kept his hand resting on her thigh all during a group dinner at Monroe and Rosalee’s house. They had spent the entire night exchanging secret smiles, her fingers dancing across his knee and up to his mid thigh and back down again. Over and over until he was lost in their rhythm, his head dizzy from the wine and _her_.

That had been the first time since before he left that they slept together, and it still felt just as magical.

And just like with cohabitating and coparenting, they fell into an easy rhythm. One of them would wake and make coffee, the other tending to Kelly if he was awake. If Nick had time they would make breakfast and eat together, then he would get dressed and he’d kiss her and Kelly goodbye. If it was a slow day Adalind would take him to lunch.

Adalind would send him photos of Kelly throughout the day, usually with a cute little caption that had him smiling at his phone until Hank or Wu made a smart remark about it.

When he would come home he’d take over caring for Kelly while Adalind made dinner, then they would eat and he’d tell her about his day. Maybe they would watch tv, or he would try work on getting the door in the tunnel open while she read a book. Then they’d get Kelly ready for bed and then they’d get themselves ready, and if his job or their son hadn’t already worn them out, they’d have sex.

Exploring Adalind’s body had become his favorite pastime. He liked learning what she liked, what made her gasp and what had her eyes rolling to the back of her head. He wanted to know how to make her sigh with pleasure, wanted to know exactly what it was that would have her nails scratching down his back, digging into his shoulders. He wanted her and he wanted to know her. He wanted to mark her as his, and be marked by her in return.

It had been good and just as he was getting used to this new normal, Eve dropped a bomb.

In the back of Nick’s mind he knew that Adalind’s powers would return, he had known when she had taken the suppressant that it wasn’t a permanent solution. Adalind had even brought it up herself when he got back from Germany, and maybe that should have tipped him off. But his mind had been filled with thoughts of the stick and finding out what it was, and being home with Kelly. And Adalind, always Adalind.

Rosalee confirming the thing his brain knew was true but his heart was trying to reject hurt. Knowing Adalind was hiding the truth from him because she was afraid — _of him_ — hurt worse.

Nick thought back to the weeks since he had been back from Germany, everything had seemed normal — or what their normal was — that he hadn’t noticed anything. Eve and Rosalee and Monroe all seemed to believe that Adalind being a Hexenbiest again was going to make her into some unlovable creature, and at one point in their shared history he had thought that too, but now Nick knew her. The real her, not the version she had put into the world, not the Hexenbiest who had only been his enemy.

Adalind was smart and beautiful, she was very dry witted and funny. She was the mother of his child and she was amazing at it, Nick had acknowledged that fact a week after Kelly was born. Adalind was kind in a way he had never imagined possible, had never even tried to believe could be true.

And he loved her. He knew in that moment, standing in Rosalee and Monroe’s living room, that he loved her, was in love with her.

And that hurt, hurt like hell.

So he spent the next two weeks avoiding her when all he wanted to do was pull her into him, breathe in her scent and tell her he loved her, that he knew she was a Hexenbiest and it was okay. The time to deal with it had come and he was ready, because he wanted this to work, _needed_ this to work.

Because he loved her, because he wanted her, he needed her, and _oh god_ , he _was in love with her_.

And he missed her. He missed her so damn much.

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Well I don’t really know what this is, but here it is. It’s probably not that coherent, but I’ve been watching and rewatching seasons 5 and 6 of Grimm (quarantine life) and I remembered how much I love Nick and Adalind. I haven’t written anything in a long time so I’m a little rusty, so don’t judge me too harshly.
> 
> (title from the song dress by taylor swift)


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